It’s 9:30 AM and I am drunk off my ass. Did I mention I’m at work? Ugh. I’m typing like a sloth. I swear, last night was amazing. I met new people, I danced, I got drunk and didn’t puke (I don’t usually puke anyway), and I managed to cough up the balls to “pop a squat” at random places on the side of the road. Beautiful.
I haven’t mastered the art of “popping a squat” yet (I always end up peeing on myself…lol), but I have more days to keep trying. I am a drunk, I swear. I have been drinking every weekend since last December. And on some occasions on weekdays and yeah (I’m sorry that I’m not sorry, liver).
I think I’m an alcoholic.
I need to sober up…work is such a drag.
I only tolerate this bullshit because it pays for my alcohol.
I usually trust Daily Horoscopes and all those suspicious spiritual crap that we can find on the interwebs. Although, it’s sad (yes, I find it very sad) that I believe in these things because they usually just tell us what we want to hear , but I also find it kind of ironic that it’s usually right (the horoscope). They usually somewhat connect with the problem or situation at hand and somehow (maybe subconsciously) whisper the solution to us and then, BAM! Problem solved (thank you, Subconcious for the tip).
Its quite shady though. How do the horoscopes do that? And who writes these things? How do they know? How? Goddammit! *sigh. No need getting worked up over this, D. I’m so confused and I’m rambling on and on and on.
I’m just so bored at work and I miss my girlfriend. I mean, seriously. I am so bored. I think I’ve seen all the cute cat pictures on the internet and I’ve probably wasted more than $10 on Chocolate milk (this isn’t good as I am mildly lactose intolerant).
I feel pregnant (not possible given I have a girlfriend and I haven’t had any heterosexual intercourse in a while because I have a girlfriend and I am very loyal). Did I mention I miss my girlfriend? Yeah I think its about time I end this post. Well, Ciao! (I don’t speak French, blah.)
Dearest Blog, bloggers, world, interwebs, followers etc:
Yes. It has been quite a while. And I apologize. I have been…well…distracted. In a good way. Not procrastinating to update this blog or anything. Really just distracted, generally. But anyhow, I am back and I am going to update you every now and then. Bringing you the bullshit and truth and all. I will be ranting on about homosexuality and all that who-ha next week (just an early warning) and about school. I hope this short post finds you well! And that you all are enjoying this wonderful year! Cheers to another 365!
So, in case you guys didn’t know, not that it would matter to you all or have a staggering effect in your life or actually, I don’t think there would be any way for you all to know so I’m just going to go ahead and say it, I am bisexual. There. And you can go ahead and judge me, but don’t tell me (if you’re a girl) that you don’t get a little curious about women sometimes. But you know, if you don’t get curious about women, you’re probably a prude. No I’m kidding. That was a joke.
But anyway, I met this girl a couple of weeks ago (a month ago) and we’ve been getting to know each other and really connecting, then you know, she asked me out (of course I said yes). Honestly, I’ve never been committed to anyone (no, I’m not a slut). It’s because commitment scares the daylights out of me, but when I met her, for the first time in my life, I wanted to be with someone (in a committed relationship-y way). I don’t know if its love at first sight or if I’m falling in love, but I’m crazy about her. She completes me and I think that I complete her. Honestly, I’ve never felt so comfortable around anyone. With her it’s really different. I feel at home. It’s weird, really weird (in a good way).
I’ve never so openly given my heart to anyone. I’ve always had trust issues and I’ve always had trouble letting people in. It took my best friends about 5 years to really earn my trust (I know, my friends are so damn patient and amazing), but it took her a few weeks, a few moments to just capture my heart (Oh god, I’m in trouble). I cannot describe how she is my everything and how much I love her. She just fits me perfectly and I fit her (maybe too perfect?). But I’ll leave my doubt and insecurities aside as my love for her and her love for me go beyond all logic and reason. Hell, I can’t even think straight when I’m around her (get it? we’re both girls, and I can’t think “straight”? No? Okay.) She is just amazing. I love her. I love you.
I’ve never been happier.
So much has happened in the past few weeks.
I’ve experienced things that I can’t even put into words.
I’ve met people I can’t even describe.
I’ve seen things I can’t even believe.
I’ve done things I can’t even remember.
But aside from all this, I met you.
You’ve found a place in my mind.
But how can I trust my mind?
I’ve been living with my heart on my sleeve all this time.
And slowly your making your way into my heart.
Too fast? Too slow?
I’m not sure.
All I know is that I want you,
but my heart is closing up.
All this time,
I’ve been Thinking About You.
And I’ll just leave it at that.
We don’t appreciate the little things in life that we experience. Going to school, walking to the supermarket, purchasing the last carton of Milk right before the store closes, accidently brushing a stranger in the arm while passing by them on the street, smiling at a homeless person for no reason but because you’re having a nice day. In everything you do, wherever you go, whatever you do, has an amazing chain effect. Imagine the impact that you can make in someone’s life. Imagine all the things that you can do.
The beauty in all things simple, the beauty in every day, the beauty in everything. The breeze, the trees, the company of a stranger at the bus stop, the caller who dialed the wrong number but said “Have a nice day”, the comfort of a bed and a full stomach, the blinding light of a laptop in the middle of the night, everything, just everything. Love all things. Appreciate All things. They could be gone tomorrow.
Life is simply beautiful.
Last thing I remember telling you was my routine little warning,
But I was drunk on your eyes, the feeling of your stub on my hand, the spark innocently growing,
That night, Oh how I can’t seem to erase you out of my mind, the thought of us, my heart can’t stop pounding.
Our eyes, they danced, as we secretly made a promise.
But we exchanged the conspiracy of our double lives in drunken solace.
Forget me, I forcibly whispered as we locked eyes.
And you spoke, in a different language, but somehow we kissed behind the lies.
I drank away your love.
And for now, the music is more than enough.
The distance is more than enough.